The word ‘Divorce’ is scary. If we take it to scale and weigh in the word ‘Divorce’ at one side and
your whole life on the other, ‘Divorce’ will certainly have more weight to it. Because this one
word, if you had the worst luck to experience it, has the power to impact your life and change it
Change is another word that is complementary – part of the parcel that comes with Divorce.
Because your whole life changes after a divorce. A person you loved becomes a stranger, things
that were once ‘ours’ becomes ‘yours’ and memories… well they forever remain unfinished.
Now as scary as it seems, dealing with the changes, after divorce, are very important for you to
get back up. No one is asking you to forget a part of your life but what is asked of you is to use
the memories of your time in a way that it empowers you. You no longer have to say ‘what if’
rather you go on to experience new things on your own without the fear of being stuck.
Remember, it is YOU who has the power to change for better or for worse. And divorce, no
matter how scary… gives you an opportunity to assess one’s self so that you may redefine
yourself… move on and be happy.
On a physiological level, empowerment comes from little things, belongings and habits that need
changing. And what better way than to start the change from your own house – your personal
space and your lifestyle.
First Up..! Move to a new place.
You need to find a suitable accommodation for yourself… that is if you were living in your ex’s
house. Even if you were not, you should consider moving all together to get a fresh start. I
suggest, you look for a place in the city and opt for an apartment building. The reason for it is
simple – it gives you exposure to interact with new faces and maybe help find you some
common ground for appreciation and closure.
You may also want to consider the location as well as the surroundings around your apartment.
Experts say that one should look for an apartment with western exposure. Why? … Light.
Light plays an important part in lifting our mood. If you are in a room with no exposure to sunlight,
you will more likely experience fatigue and sadness than in a room full of light. Because sunlight
always cheers you up and you need some good cheering for your mental state.
Also, other things to consider for the surroundings include easy access to groceries and
take-out, if you are working and do not have time to cook. Parks for morning walks and
happening places to stroll around. And, if you are moving back in your parent’s house, then you
need to start right way with your old bedroom. You will need to change it so that it is updated for
your new outlook on life.
The Next Stop. Reinvent.
The next stop, after moving into a new house or your old bedroom at your parents’, you need to
research on ways to reinvent your space. Go on the internet or check out interior decoration
magazines to get ideas on how you could redo your space; the colors that may suit your
personality and taste. Pinterest is an exceptionally great website that you can go to get all those
DIY design ideas for decoration. It will also keep you busy in your early stages of what I like to call
‘After Divorce Blues’, and maybe help you kick start a small scale business too.
Paint Your New Life.
If your space requires painting, then you could get down to it on a fine Sunday afternoon. Experts
argue that painting your space may be one of the best mind exercises to practice after a divorce.
When you are painting, on a sub conscious level, you are constructing your space. Painting itself
empowers you. You feel in control, you decide which color you want and how you want it. A
stroke there… a stroke here. It makes you feel in command of your space and that feeling of
being in command of your surroundings is a mental boost for you when you have just
experienced an event such as divorce where you felt helpless.
Make your space a mirror to your personality.
Once your space is ready, the next step for you is to start making it your own. Buy furniture that
you like – a bean bag that you always wanted to keep. A flowered bed lamp that you wanted only
because you like to read in bed. For the walls, you can frame your pictures or pictures that make
you feel powerful – it may be of an award you won, or a photo with your friends, of celebrations.
In a time of grief, keeping with good memories is always a mood booster.
For your master bed. You are more than welcome to change sheets… using colors that you like
or those that make you feel happy and if money is of no issue, buy a new whole dam bed for
yourself to treat yourself to everything new in your life. And it’s just a start. You can be as creative as you like when it comes to your space.
What I have said, it’s just a start to reclaiming yourself. Remember, it’s about exploring yourself.
And a person’s space is more important that anything to make that reinvention faster, that
transition faster… and before you know it… you’ll be a whole new person ready to let go. Even
be happy that you met someone, that they shared a part of your life and that they taught you
many things that empower you to live a better life in the days to come.